I have heard a radio advertisement several times over the past two weeks on my way to work. I believe the company is called something like Ashley Madison, and it's a service for people who are in a relationship, but are looking to have an affair. I'm not sure how they can promise confidentiality--how do you ensure the crazy woman or the psycho man won't emerge if they get emotional and try to contact the client's "loved" ones? But anyway, this service is disgusting.

Here's a big rule that I thought everyone already knew: Break up (which means divorce for married people) if you are unhappy and want to get with other girls/guys. If you're that unhappy or immature, you either need to give your relationship the time and effort it takes to change things for the both of you (usually if you're really unhappy, the other person isn't satisfied either) OR you need to make a decision to move on in a clear and respectful way, ASAP. Especially, if you're married, don't be a jerk. And don't pretend you're doing it for the kids, because no kid wants to have a mom or dad that is a cheater and making the other parent cry or look like a fool. Don't be a coward and try to have the security and financial sharing and the outward appearance of a good relationship when you're not really into it.

I was complaining last week that I felt like I would be an underachiever in the gift department this year because of money. To add to the creative ideas that were shared, check out this heart-felt idea at http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20081118_tows_holiday/1. I am going to do this for my family. They are simply print-outs (see the PDFs about half way down the page) that begin with "What I love about you..." or "My holiday wish for you is..." or "Thank you for..." You can place them in a special box or just slip them in a card, and it will show loved ones that you took a few minutes to share your most special thoughts about them. For instance, for my nephew I would put "My holiday wish for you is that you will find a place where you feel happy and accomplished. I hope you learn a lot and make lots of life-long friends when you go into the Army next year." For my mom, I will put "Thank you for being my friend, and Thank you for being generous, and Thank you for putting lots of effort into making the holidays special." I hope that this small effort of love and recognition will make them feel appreciated.

Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? Giving gifts is one of the five love languages, but it is often the most used. We give gifts for almost every occastion. The idea above is more about words, and according to the five love languages is called words of affirmation. The remaining three are: acts of service (example: getting someone's car washed for them), physical contact, and quality time. Of course, everyone wants each of these at different times, but usually there are one or two love languages that really touch your heart and really speak volumes to make you feel loved. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html